Wednesday, April 11, 2007

More "Best Of": Animals vs. Sex Euphamisms

Wed 14 Dec 2005

It’s time for another exciting episode of Animal Names vs. Sex Organ Euphemisms!

Okay, contestants…
is it A.) an actual animal name, or B.) a euphemism for sex organs

1. Auger-headed gut wrench

2. Bald-headed hermit

3. Bearded clam

4. Bed snake

5. Blind snake

6. Box jellyfish

7. Bush rusher

8. Carpet shark

9. Chin-strap penguin

10. Clown stink bug

11. Cock-of-the-rock

12. Crotch mackerel

13. Dik-dik

14. False heath fritillary butterfly

15. Firm worm

16. Furback turtle

17. Gutted hamster

18. Hairy-nosed wombat

19. Hoopoe

20. Kookooyumyumpoon

21. Lady dagger

22. Lumpsucker

23. Muzzled bulldog

24. One-eyed hip snake

25. Oxpecker

26. Pale chub

27. Pocket gopher

28. Porkfish

29. Purple-headed belly ripper

30. River cooter

31. Schipperke

32. Schnickel

33. Smew

34. Smoo

35. Splooge moose

36. Stinkpot

37. Tang fish

38. Throat spackler

39. Trouser trout

40. Woolen bivalve

Answers are below.
Rate your score:

1-10 correct = Way to go, Chicken Choker. Watch the fucking Discovery channel once in a while, so you can at least know which of these are animals, instead of pulling your pud looking at the underwear section of your mom’s Sears catalogue.

11-20 correct = Not bad, Cocker Spankiel. You probably knew more of the sex euphemisms than the animal names, because you probably don’t watch the Discovery Channel except to look for native ginch. But do you even know what euphemism means?

21-30 correct = Pretty clever, Hump Monkey. You probably some wrong because you thought they were ALL sex organ euphemisms. But there’s a good chance you’ve actually hunted some of them.

31-39 correct = Nice job, Brainy Beaver. The few that you got wrong have only given you something new to search for on your next scrunt hunt!

40 correct = Congratulations, Smellyfish. But chances are you only got them all right because you knew exactly which ones were animals and eliminated the rest. You watch way too much Discovery Channel, and you need to get laid, nerd!

Eht slamina era xis, thgie hguorht nevele, neettriht, neetruof, neetnin, ytnewt-owt, ytnewt-evif hguorht ytnewt-thgie, ytriht, ytriht-eno, dna ytriht-eerht.
Eht gnals snagro era eno hguorht evif, neves, evlewt, neetfif hguorht neethgie, ytnewt, ytnewt-eno, ytnewt-eerht, ytnewt-ruof, ytnewt-enin, ytriht-owt, dna ytriht-ruof hguorht ytrof, hguohtla yna fo eseht nac ylisae eb desu sa seman rof sexob dna seskcoc.