Saturday, May 21, 2011

Top Ten Bad Things About the World Ending on May 21, 2011 as 6 PM Strikes Each Part of the World

World ends before "End of the World" parties really have a chance to get wild;

We will miss Justin Timberlake hosting SNL tonight;

Everything else Ashley Judd would have done will go undone;

Bruno Mars never fulfills father's dream of seeing his son get a college degree, will instead die in Snuggie watching MTV;

Many of Arnold Schwarzenegger's love children still undiscovered;

Ashton Kutcher never given chance to show how good an actor Charlie Sheen truly was;

Jon Cusack, Mayans completely full of shit;

Lyrics to theme song of Tony Award Winning "Annie" changed to "The sun will come out, tomorrow, but none of us will be alive to see it... we'll be gone...";

New York, New York outlived by Madison, Wisconsin;

We never got to see Ke$ha's inevitable slide into STD-riddled coked-out thirties;

See also: Top Ten GOOD Things About the World Ending on May 21, 2011 as 6 PM Strikes Each Part of the World

Top Ten Good Things About the World Ending on May 21, 2011 as 6 PM Strikes Each Part of the World

We don't have to hear from Ke$ha anymore;

Speedy reunion with Randy "Macho-Man" Savage;

Ashley Judd is taken from us in a state of unblemished perfection;

We get to see France surrender one final time before we go;

Kirstie Alley can die claiming she is just as good at something athletic as Hines Ward;

Chicago Cubs were finally going to win the big one this year;

Donald Trump gets to fire entire world;

All doubts about whether or not Seal Team 6 killed Osama bin Laden put to rest;

Michael Moore's proposed expose on himself remains unfinished;

Won't have to listen to schmucks claiming they know when the world is going to end;

See also: Top Ten BAD Things About the World Ending on May 21, 2011 as 6 PM Strikes Each Part of The World