Friday, June 09, 2006

Reality TV Proposal: Amerikarma

I propose that every person in the country be fitted with a microscopic camera somewhere on their person, and that our country be made into a reality TV show. We can call it "Amerikarma."

The rules are simple: each player can choose preset times when their camera is active. While the camera is inactive, they receive no points, and if their camera is left off for too long, they are eliminated from the game. The longer the player leaves the camera on, the more points they earn.

While the cameras are active, viewers get to see the shit that people have to put up with through the course of their everyday lives. There should be a panel of judges, chosen by and from a slice of America's smartest and fairest citizens. These judges watch what your day is like. For every perceived wrong inflicted upon you, you accumulate a point. Once you collect five points, you receive a free "bitch-slap" card. This card allows you to haul off and bitch slap one person of your choosing the next time you gain a point. You can save this card for anyone who wrongs you in the future. If you collect five "bitch-slap" cards, you can trade them in for an "Eye-Gouge" card. Five "Eye-Gouge" cards can be traded in for a "Rochambeau" card. Five "Rochambeau" cards can be traded in for an "Abner Louima" card. Not only are the victims of these wrongs given a point, but those guilty of said wrongs lose a point. If your score drops below zero at any point, you are eliminated instantly. This continues until the last person is eliminated. The prize: they get to be President of the next season of "Amerikarma" (AND these United States).

Now who couldn't get behind THAT concept?

Let's somebody get that done. ABC, I'm looking your way...