Monday, April 09, 2012

Facebook Idiots

It's time to address yet another annoying element of the internet.

Anyone who claims that this year, a given month has 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays, and 5 Sundays, and that it only happens every 823 years and this is the only time we will see this in our lifetime, is either going to be dead by June of 2016, or is so mentally deficient that retarded people speak slowly and condescendingly at them with pity in their eyes.
"Durrrrrrrrrr." - Original Poster 

For fuck's sake, people, check a freaking calendar, would you? If you're on a computer (and if you're viewing these messages at all, YOU ARE) open up the calendar that comes bundled with your computer software and just check. Is your life so hollow and vapid that you're willing to just regurgitate any misinformation that just comes your way like a mother bird feeding a slurry of digested worms to her brood on the off chance that fate, karma, and the Gods of the universe will shower you with riches just for posting a falsehood so easily disprovable that it actually removes IQ points from the speaker to your Facebook feed?

"Thou Shalt Not Spam." 

For the record, the Julian Calendar that we currently use has only 14 possible configurations. If the year starts on a Sunday (as 2012 did) and it is a leap year (as 2012 is) then it ends on a Monday (as 2012 will). If it starts on a Sunday (like 2006) and is not a leap year (like 2006) then it ends on a Sunday (like 2006). Now consider that for each of the other six days of the week. There is a pattern to all this, people. If a given 5 3-day-weekend (for this discussion, Friday is considered a weekend day) configuration shows up, then it will either repeat itself in 5, 6 or 11 years, and even that variable goes in a rotating cycle. If a configuration shows up 5 years after it last appeared, it will then show up in another 6 years, followed by 11 years after that, followed by another 6 years, followed by another 5 years, and then cycle repeats; 5, 6, 11, 6, 5, 6, 11, 6, 5, etc., etc., etc.

Using that formula and moving forward from the last July that had 5 3-day-weekends (2011) we see that July will have 5 3-day-weekends in the following years: 2016, 2022, 2033, 2039, 2044, 2050, 2061, 2067, 2072, 2078, 2089, and 2095.

That's right, ass clown who originally posted this, July of 2012 doesn't even have 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays, and 5 Sundays. That was 2011 you were thinking of. Christ, is it too much to ask that our spammers not also be lazy sacks of human effluence?