Sunday, January 17, 2010

Smart Centipede Presents: Out Of Genre Sequels

There has, to my knowledge, been very few examples of a movie series that has switched genres successfully. Alien was a top notch horror movie, and anyone who tells you that Aliens was anything but an action film is deluding themselves. Star Trek: The Motion Picture was a heavily intellectual Sci-Fi movie, while Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan was much more action oriented. First Blood was a tense drama, while Rambo: First Blood Part II was another slam bang action movie. Halloween was a classic horror movie, while Halloween 3, Season of the Witch was a tragic (if unintentional) comedy.

Presented for your consideration, the following are trailer descriptions for the first big wave of genre crossing Hollywood movie sequels.


The year is 2018. The Earth is in trouble. Humanity finds itself on the brink of extinction, having turned their once green planet into a barren, desolate wasteland. The last remnants of civilization are scattered. Among the ruins and decaying survivors, one young girl rises in search of her destiny.

We see her sifting through some rubble of an old house for supplies when a group of ten scavengers surprise her. She looks around for a way out, but the only unattended door leads to the basement. She edges towards it.

"No way out there, girlie," one of her would be assailants chuckles.

"Who said I was looking for a way out?" she asks, smiling. She draws in a breath and lets out a scream, turning the knob. The door opens, and on the other side is complete darkness. From the blackness, we see a single giant eye glaring menacingly, unblinkingly. The screen cuts to black and there is a bloodcurtling roar, followed by the screams of the scavengers being torn apart.

Monsters, Inc. 2: The Path of Boo


We see the crowd at an NFL game. The New Orleans Saints hold a narrow lead against the Washington Redskins with only seconds left on the clock. "That wife you got owe us a lot of money when she die," a gravely cajun voice says off camera.

The screen cuts to a dark room, with a ring of several gangsters standing in a circle around a seated man wearing a Saints t-shirt. "We can't just let that debt go uncollected," the gravel voice gangster says as the camera orbits around the ring of thugs.

The screen cuts back to the game, with the Redskins breaking their offensive huddle and approaching the line of scrimmage. "The money got to come from somewhere."

Cut back to the dark room. "So you gonna help us out. You gonna make sure that your team don't win on Sunday."

Cut to the game, and the Redskins quarterback calls an audible at the line, pointing to the defensive formation. "We got a lot of money on the Saints to lose, son."

Cut to the dark room. "And they gonna lose. Because it would be a shame to see something happen to that lovely momma of yours."

Cut to the game, with the Redskins running back rushing to the right, and the Saints linebacker barreling towards him. "She old. She could be home one day, and hit her head in the tub and drown."

Cut back to the darkened room. "You wouldn't want your momma to drown, now, would you, Bobby?"

Cut to the game, as the linebacker and running back approach each other in slow motion at the goal line. Just before they collide the screen goes black. A wavering, elderly female voice mutters "you... you is de Devil..."

Waterboy II: Sudden Death


As the camera comes up, we see the back of an older man listening to a transcription over an earbud. Suddenly, a woman enters the office. "Dr. Laughlin," she says insistently, "there are some men here to see you."

As the man turns, we see military officers entering the room. "Dr. David Laughlin?" one of the officers asks.

"That's right," he says, removing the earbud from his ear. (played by Bob Balaban)

"We're going to need you to come with us."

Cut to a white room with the camera behind a man sitting at a table. He is bound, and has obviously been heavily sedated. Behind the mirrored glass, Dr. Laughlin is briefed by the officer in charge. "We found him in Wyoming. He insisted on seeing Dr. Claude Lacombe."

"Claude Lacombe is dead," Laughlin replies. "He died shortly after... my God..." he says, looking at the sedated man.

He rushes into the room, despite the cautions from the technicians around him, and grabs the man by the arms. "Roy? What happened to you? We never received contact after-"

"I escaped," the sedated man says, though we still don't see who it is. "I don't know how I got back here. But I need to warn you. Warn them."

"Who, Roy? Who do you have to warn?"

We see Richard Dreyfuss, as he looked 30 years ago. "Everybody."

Screen cuts to a small farm house. As the camera's depth of focus changes, we hear Laughlin's voice ask "Are they coming back, Roy?" The camera's focus finishes on a mailbox with the name Guiler on it. The house, now blurry in the background, lights up with a blinding white light, and the screen cuts to black as we hear Roy's voice say "They never left."

Close Encounters: The Invasion


There are infinite possibilities.

Joker (Matthew Modine) and Animal Mother (Adam Baldwin) in a 1980's Meatballs-style teen camp romp called "Full Metal Jacket Too!"

Cameron Poe (Nicholas Cage) is brought in by Marshall Vince Larkin (Jon Cusack) to track Garland Greene (Steve Buscemi) across a 21 state killing spree in "Con Air: The Greene Pasture."

Brian Johnson (Anthony Michael Hall) must track down who killed his former detention mate John Bender (Judd Nelson) in "Breakfast Club II: Deadly Reunion" (spoiler: it was Carl).

We need to get on this, people.