Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Halleluj.... halleloo... hajle... HOORAY!

I am celebrating today, November 7, 2007, as one of my greatest days of 2007 (right next to June 9 (kys kys)). Today I went to the doctor for the latest attempt at fixing my back, and it seems to have worked, for the time being. It was a steroid/cortisone shot, which means I can't play professional baseball unless I get my memory wiped, and I don't have Bonds' number to find out how he did it. But that's a small price to pay for being able stand for more than 20 seconds without needing percocet. The MLB will have to settle for my witty candor on the Smart Centipede: Sports Edition as my contribution to the athletic landscape.

The doctor says if this shot doesn't help me for an extended period of time, they are going to try an experimental process on me involving injections of sugar. I assured her I tried that orally, and it did nothing to help my back problems (and may have, in fact, enhanced them). But apparently, injections of sugar can cause scar tissue, which can, in some cases, actually help prevent inflammation. It's like putting rubber cement on two moving parts, except you can't rub it really had to make fake boogers afterwards. And that rubber cement being something that most people actually go to doctors to have removed.

But as I continually told my acupuncturist, "I'd let midgets light me on fire if it helped get rid of this pain." So if this injection doesn't last, I'm game for a little Sucrose Syringe Party. I'm just relieved to be pain free (in my back, anyway, which, now that it's quiet, has revealed a dull ache in my neck that's probably a direct result of my constant hunching due to back pain) for a night.