Sunday, October 28, 2007

Comedy Central

A TV Guide style "Jeers" to Comedy Central for their showing of Shaun of the Dead last night from 1 to sometime after 3:30.

I had heard great things about this movie, and I am happy to report that it was worth the praise. Funny stuff. Simon Pegg and Nick Frost were brilliant. There were excellent performances by Penelope Wilton and Bill Nighy as Pegg's mom and step dad, and the rest of the cast gave it the very dark humor that has gained this movie a huge cult following.

My jeers is to the fact that this movie (99 minute run time) took nearly three hours to view, because every five minutes, Comedy Central bent over like the corporate whore they are to give advertising time to ExtenZe Male Enhancement Tablets and Girls Gone Wild videos. Seriously, there were scenes, individual scenes, interrupted TWICE by commercial breaks.

How are you supposed to get involved in a movie when everytime you begin to make a connection with one of the characters, you have to pause and hear some over sexed cock wipe talking about how much larger his "certain part of the body" is? They won't even say Penis. Even the "doctor" who appears in these commercials says "that certain part of the male body". I'm watching a movie in which one of the main characters asks "can I get any of you cunts a drink?" and then I have some decrepit doctor in my face every five minutes afraid to say schlong?

I almost stopped watching it, because if I had to hear that dim bitch say "male enhancement? You mean, bigger muscles?" I was going to put my fist through some drywall. And Girls Gone Wild... seriously, folks, just get some actual honest-to-goodness porn. This soft core shit doesn't mean you're any "cleaner" or "more wholesome" than anyone else; you're still flogging dolphin to naked people on video, it just doesn't involve penetration (from what I have heard; I would never watch such wanton debauchery). What, because these are actual girls from the public instead of porn starlets, you think you actually have any more chance of banging them? Wipe the cheetos from your Babylon 5 t-shirt, recycle those Mr. Pibb cans and use the nickels to get a clue. These women don't have sex with guys that buy the videos they are featured in. I know, believe me. They told me during the orgy.