You ghastly Pork Sword.
I don't even know three people to tag who haven't been tagged already, so that part is dead. But you want to know five things about me that no one knows? Fine.
1. I have extraordinarily dry ears, as a result of my pathological obsession with using q-tips.
2. When I was 10 I shoplifted a toy Transformer watch from a Caldor-type store at the urging of one of my friends.
3. I threw said watch away after a week because of the guilt I felt.
4. I have never tried guacamole, although I continually tell people that I have tried it and hated it.
5. There is film of me eating dry dogfood as an infant.
The real sad thing is I don't know anyone else to tag, so I guess this branch dies here.